Today, as part of the ongoing celebration of National Poetry Month, I'm contributing the tenth line in the 2012 KidLit Progressive Poem, dreamed up by Irene Latham. My friends and I used to do an "Exquisite Corpse" version of this at our annual retreats. We passed a single sheet of paper around and each person contributed a line, but as we did so we had to fold over all but the preceding line. By doing that, we couldn't really tell where the poem had started nor where anyone meant the poem to go - things got pretty wild with those rules. You ended up with odd poems, not exactly sensible - or, if one of the poems made sense, it thrilled us. Insensibility and unplanned sensibility have their roller-coaster charms. We even created a fake poet to sign the poems and send them out to reviews to see if we could get them published. Never did.
In this incarnation of the game, we could actually see the cumulative growth when we wrote our own lines. We could see where the poem started, and the course it had taken, but we didn't know what direction future poets would make it go.
Here's the poem as it stands right now, with my contribution. Tomorrow, it moves on to Kate at her blog, Book Aunt. She'll see what she thinks her job is - maybe to make it clearer or to calm it down, speed it up, throw a curve, make it sadder, make it sillier, make it more cerebral or more emotional - we won't know until tomorrow. And who knows what will happen by the 30th of April??
If you want to see my thoughts about why I wrote the line I did, just read the P.S.
In this incarnation of the game, we could actually see the cumulative growth when we wrote our own lines. We could see where the poem started, and the course it had taken, but we didn't know what direction future poets would make it go.
Here's the poem as it stands right now, with my contribution. Tomorrow, it moves on to Kate at her blog, Book Aunt. She'll see what she thinks her job is - maybe to make it clearer or to calm it down, speed it up, throw a curve, make it sadder, make it sillier, make it more cerebral or more emotional - we won't know until tomorrow. And who knows what will happen by the 30th of April??
If you want to see my thoughts about why I wrote the line I did, just read the P.S.
Thanks for setting it all up, Irene - fun!
If you are reading this
you must be hungry
Kick off your silver slippers
Come sit with us a spell A hanky, here, now dry your tearsAnd fill your glass with wineNow, pour. The parchment has secretsSmells of a Morrocan market spillout. You have come to the right place, just breathe in.Honey, mint, cinnamon, sorrow. Now, breathe out
you must be hungry
Kick off your silver slippers
Come sit with us a spell A hanky, here, now dry your tearsAnd fill your glass with wineNow, pour. The parchment has secretsSmells of a Morrocan market spillout. You have come to the right place, just breathe in.Honey, mint, cinnamon, sorrow. Now, breathe out
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P.S. Here are my thoughts about adding a line: In a poem like this (actually, in all poems, but even more so for this kind) I think there should be a few surprises. Different voices contribute, with different tastes in choice of words, images, and rhythms. Shifts along those lines can be interesting. Predictability and accessibility are not the be-all nor the end-all when the structure is cumulative, with many poets contributing. For me, adding a line meant seeing how the poem was doing in terms of surprises, and throwing in a curve or two. When I saw tears and a hanky and wine, I figured it wasn't a poem for kids. I also got worried because oh-oh, a crying jag was coming on. My inclination at that point would have been to introduce a laugh and not let the poem get over-emotional. But looking at the additions in the last couple of days, I have to say I love where it's gone - the jump to the parchment, and to Morocco - both so mysterious! So I wanted those smells and that mystery in my line, and I wanted not only a metaphorical breath in, but a physical, cleansing breath out.
Can't wait to see where this thing goes.See the schedule, below.
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Here's the Progressive Poem schedule - follow along and watch it grow!
P.S. Here are my thoughts about adding a line: In a poem like this (actually, in all poems, but even more so for this kind) I think there should be a few surprises. Different voices contribute, with different tastes in choice of words, images, and rhythms. Shifts along those lines can be interesting. Predictability and accessibility are not the be-all nor the end-all when the structure is cumulative, with many poets contributing. For me, adding a line meant seeing how the poem was doing in terms of surprises, and throwing in a curve or two. When I saw tears and a hanky and wine, I figured it wasn't a poem for kids. I also got worried because oh-oh, a crying jag was coming on. My inclination at that point would have been to introduce a laugh and not let the poem get over-emotional. But looking at the additions in the last couple of days, I have to say I love where it's gone - the jump to the parchment, and to Morocco - both so mysterious! So I wanted those smells and that mystery in my line, and I wanted not only a metaphorical breath in, but a physical, cleansing breath out.
Can't wait to see where this thing goes.See the schedule, below.
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Here's the Progressive Poem schedule - follow along and watch it grow!
2012 KidLit Progressive Poem: watch a poem grow day-by-day as it travels across the Kidlitosphere! April 1-30
Dates in April:
1 Irene at Live Your Poem
2 Doraine at Dori Reads
3 Jeannine at View from a Window Seat
4 Robyn at Read, Write, Howl
5 Susan at Susan Taylor Brown
6 Mary Lee at A Year of Reading
7 Penny at A Penny and her Jots
8 Jone at Deo Writer
9 Gina at Swagger Writer's
10 Julie at The Drift Record
11 Kate at Book Aunt
12 Anastasia Suen at Booktalking
13 Tabatha at The Opposite of Indifference
14 Diane at Random Noodling
15 Ruth at There is No Such Thing as a Godforsaken Town
16 Natalie at Wading Through Words
17 Tara at A Teaching Life
18 Amy at The Poem Farm
19 Lori at Habitual Rhymer
20 Heidi at My Juicy Little Universe
21 Myra at Gathering Books
22 Pat at Writer on a Horse
23 Miranda at Miranda Paul Books
24 Linda at TeacherDance
25 Greg at Gotta Book
26 Renee at No Water River
27 Linda at Write Time
28 Caroline at Caroline by Line
29 Sheri at Sheri Doyle
30 Irene at Live Your Poem
Julie, I love the idea of breathing out sorrow and love that you inserted it here. (Also, it reminds me of your post below in which that bird is breathing out what - joy?) I appreciate your p.s. too. Yay for surprises!
ReplyDeleteOh, Julie, I love your line! So much in so few words - "sorrow" tossed in among the scents is wonderful, and then the beneficial "breathe out..." completing the idea of line nine, and setting the stage for the next stanza.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see where this keeps going!
When I read your line, it was so calming, even though it included sorrow, it also included enjoyment of life, those smells. I enjoyed hearing your reason for the the line, interesting. It reminded me of tension. One wants just enough to make things lively, but not so much that they break. Thank you Julie!
ReplyDeleteSo lovely, Julie! I could smell every layer of that sorrow...
ReplyDeleteLoving your line! Loving it! When I added my line, I was trying to steer it back to a poem for kids...I figured the poured wine would reveal invisible ink or perhaps a treasure map! Oh...how I wanted to be in control :-) I like how you have sorrow being breathed out! The next line can take us anywhere...
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
The imagery in this poem is so vivid but for some reason I keep picturing myself sitting with a cup of tea in someone's vast, gothic library.
ReplyDeleteI like how 'sorrow' ties back to the 'tears' earlier in the poem.
I'm really enjoying these daily additions. I like looking at a line and thinking What??? and then the next day the next line makes me shake my head and say... OH!! Now I see.
ReplyDeleteSo many adventurous minds working on different ideals to produce one master piece... Hope I don't disappoint on the 22nd. I tend to throw mischievous into the mix most of the time.
Aiyiyi -- that's beautiful, Julie. I was thinking this would be a kid's poem, too, but the wine threw that notion out, and now look -- tears and sorrow and intrigue! It's lovely, but makes me nervous for the 26th! I'm thinking there will be little space for kazoo-tootlers! :)
ReplyDeleteJulie, love your line. Those scents and breathing out.
ReplyDeleteOooh, I love where you have taken us with these senses... And I also love your thoughts about adding to this poem. What a beautiful game! I'm excited for this vibrant visitor to come to me! (And how I wish that all of the people could really come and stay for a spell too...) a.
ReplyDeleteJulie this was a perfect line in just the right place. I can smell it all.
ReplyDeleteThis has been a really interesting experience and makes me want to play with progressive poems some more in the future.
...and I'm reminded of the quote (Lester Laminack, I think) that "reading is breathing in and writing is breathing out."
ReplyDelete